I don’t know what makes u angry,
I don’t know what makes u feel bad,
The only thing I know is true,
I just want to see u glad.
I never wanted to disturb u,
I never thought of interference,
It just your apathy,
You kill me with your indifference.
I may not be the best daughter,
I may not be the best student or wife,
I hope u understand my plight,
I want nothing but your knowledgeable light.
I know you are always busy,
I know your time is very precious,
But a few words with some one who cares,
Will not make your life scarce.
It hurts when u ignore,
Its hurts when u overlook,
Don’t slay me with your silence,
The wounds are irreparable.
Please don’t misunderstand my words,
Please don’t make me feel at fault,
My heart can not take the guilt,
It brings my world to halt.
I want to see your real self,
I want to feel your warmth,
Please don’t disturb me with your silence,
It breaks my ever growing resilience.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Just another BLAST
Some times i feel are we just getting used to bomb blasts, vandalism, riots and natural disasters. Is this something new for us? "Nothing affect us " is our mantra. Are we really brave or are we rationalizing our conditions to cope with our helplessness?
So now it Jaipur on the target. The royal pink city, which has captured the new channels, after death shadowed it.In the past three years, this is the 21st terror attack outside Jammu & Kashmir. This time cycles were used as weapons. Similar cycle blasts on September 8, 2006, in Malegaon, Maharashtra, had killed 38 people during a Muslim festival day. Bombs on cycles were also used for the attack on the Faizabad court. The Malegaon attacks were blamed on LeT and the banned Students' Islamic Movement of India. This time the blasts are being linked to Harkat ul-Jihad Islami(HuJI) which is a bangladeshi based terror outfit.
Who are these terrorist?I am sure they dont belong to any caste, religion, creed , nation or even the human race. Because killing is an instinctual act where no rationality is involved. A human who relies only on his instict is a lesser human and more of a beast. But i dont know if to curse them as they are all " MENTALLY SICK".So may god help them from their suffering mind and give insight into their henious acts.
" Terrorism can kill humans, but not the spirit of human life".
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
MOTHERS WEEK- IS IT REALLY A HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
Hi all, just read this news in mumbai mirror in the mothers day week
Mumbai Mirror Bureau
Mumbai Mirror Bureau
Eight days ago Gyananda Phulli tried to throw her four year old son from their fourth floor flat at Welfare Society, Annie Besant Road, Worli. She was stopped at the last minute by her neighbour Anita Sasane. This was the only clue to Phulli's disturbed state of mind. But her family chose to ignore the warning signs. On Thursday night, the 23-year-old once again threw down her son in a fit of rage and this time little Rishikesh was not so lucky.Neighbours say she frequently fought with her husband and othersEarly Saturday morning little Rishikesh who had been admitted to KEM hospital with severe concussion and multiple fractures succumbed to his injuries. Police say the 23 year old who has since been arrested suffered bouts of rage on account of her turbulent relationship with her husband, a peon at the MLA hostel at CST. The two had married five years ago against their parents’ wishes, so they did not have an extended support system. Their son was often the point of argument and Gyananda, who is said to be an alcoholic, would threaten to harm him if Ramesh did not mend his ways. Afraid that the child might come to harm, their neighbour Anita Sasane had actually taken the child away and handed him over to another family that lived on the ground floor. However, on Thursday, Gyanada brought the child back. The same night, she and her husband fought again, and this time she threw the child from the floor. Manisha Salunkhe, a 29-year-old woman who lives in the adjacent flat and who informed the police, said, “Gyanada had an alcohol problem and used to often beat up the child after getting drunk.
Gyananda who flung her son from this (circled) floorFed up with this, her husband had even gone to live with his mother at a nearby colony. However, he had returned a few days ago. Gyanada often used to get into fights with neighbours too. She even picked fights with me.”“Initially we booked her for causing grievous injuries to her son, but we did not arrest her as she was not well and in a state of shock. Now the charge has been converted to that of murder,” said Senior Inspector Bharat Worlikar of Worli police station.
Gyananda who flung her son from this (circled) floorFed up with this, her husband had even gone to live with his mother at a nearby colony. However, he had returned a few days ago. Gyanada often used to get into fights with neighbours too. She even picked fights with me.”“Initially we booked her for causing grievous injuries to her son, but we did not arrest her as she was not well and in a state of shock. Now the charge has been converted to that of murder,” said Senior Inspector Bharat Worlikar of Worli police station.
"The hand that rocks the craddle, cracks the skull."
Is this the spirit of motherhood? I know for sure that this lady has killed her motherhood long back even before she killed her child. It just very frightening to think of the act being done by a mother so let us all attribute it to her mental condition...that may give us solace...atleast me.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
A Beautiful relationship between a Teacher and a Student-->TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE
It’s very rare; I complete a book once I start it. This book kept me alive every moment. It pricked every cell in my body and my tear glands could not stop watering till the last page.
It’s a beautiful conversation between an old dying teacher (Morrie Schwartz) and his middle age student ( Mitch Albom) about the meaning of life. I wonder how many of us are lucky to have such wonderful teachers sparing their precious time to teach us lessons of life. A teacher who would guide you through the light of their knowledge without making you feel obligated to them. A teacher who would be more of a friend than a mere symbol of knowledge. We all are somewhere looking out for teachers in our lives to give clarity to our confused and tortured souls. On a second taught, I don’t see such a teacher surviving in Indian context. I may sound a little pessimistic on this one but there are reasons why I am saying this.
First is the issue of respect--> In our country a teacher is often revered and looked up towards. He or she is considered to be superior and not equal. Thus if a student were to be friendly with their teacher it could be interpreted as disrespect. In this book Tuesday with Morrie, Mitch often addresses Morrie by his name “Morrie” or in a friendly term as “Coach”. In our culture it would be almost considered a sin to call our teachers by their first name.”Maam” or “Sir” is more appropriate.
The issue of sparing their personal time--> Why would anyone want to spare their personal time for the personal growth of other. Also most teachers may not consider the other person’s personal growth as important, as it is not tangible. It is something that happens within a person which one can not see and thus they may consider the conversation as futile.
But on a more positive note, I am sure there are teachers who are waiting to teach their students to learn lessons of life.
In this touching book, Morrie is suffering from a life threatening illness called ALS, a detoriating neurological condition which has no cure. So when Mitch comes to know about his teacher’s illness through a television channel, he can’t keep himself away from his old teacher.
Morrie speaks about different aspects of life like love, forgiveness, family, marriage, culture, and death. With regard to Adult life crisis morrie speaks about the tensions of opposites.
He says” life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something’s hurt you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.”
“A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle”.
With regard to love and emotions-->
“Love wins. Love wins all”.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in..”
“Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too-even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”
“Without love we are birds with broken wings”
“Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Learn to detach”
“Wash yourself with emotion. It won’t hurt you”
“Don’t let go soon, but don’t hang on too long”
The most beautiful thing in this book is the chemistry between Morrie and Mitch. On the last Tuesday when Mitch meets Morrie, Morrie’s last words to Mitch are “ love…you”, and Mitch replies “ I love you , too, Coach”. I wonder how many teachers may have ever told their student that they love them. It very common for students walking up to their teachers and displaying their love but not many teachers are sensitive enough to value their student’s emotions. That’s what I think is special about Mitch and Morrie.
“ A teacher affects eternity; she can never know where her influence lie”
It’s a beautiful conversation between an old dying teacher (Morrie Schwartz) and his middle age student ( Mitch Albom) about the meaning of life. I wonder how many of us are lucky to have such wonderful teachers sparing their precious time to teach us lessons of life. A teacher who would guide you through the light of their knowledge without making you feel obligated to them. A teacher who would be more of a friend than a mere symbol of knowledge. We all are somewhere looking out for teachers in our lives to give clarity to our confused and tortured souls. On a second taught, I don’t see such a teacher surviving in Indian context. I may sound a little pessimistic on this one but there are reasons why I am saying this.
First is the issue of respect--> In our country a teacher is often revered and looked up towards. He or she is considered to be superior and not equal. Thus if a student were to be friendly with their teacher it could be interpreted as disrespect. In this book Tuesday with Morrie, Mitch often addresses Morrie by his name “Morrie” or in a friendly term as “Coach”. In our culture it would be almost considered a sin to call our teachers by their first name.”Maam” or “Sir” is more appropriate.
The issue of sparing their personal time--> Why would anyone want to spare their personal time for the personal growth of other. Also most teachers may not consider the other person’s personal growth as important, as it is not tangible. It is something that happens within a person which one can not see and thus they may consider the conversation as futile.
But on a more positive note, I am sure there are teachers who are waiting to teach their students to learn lessons of life.
In this touching book, Morrie is suffering from a life threatening illness called ALS, a detoriating neurological condition which has no cure. So when Mitch comes to know about his teacher’s illness through a television channel, he can’t keep himself away from his old teacher.
Morrie speaks about different aspects of life like love, forgiveness, family, marriage, culture, and death. With regard to Adult life crisis morrie speaks about the tensions of opposites.
He says” life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something’s hurt you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.”
“A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle”.
With regard to love and emotions-->
“Love wins. Love wins all”.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in..”
“Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too-even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”
“Without love we are birds with broken wings”
“Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Learn to detach”
“Wash yourself with emotion. It won’t hurt you”
“Don’t let go soon, but don’t hang on too long”
The most beautiful thing in this book is the chemistry between Morrie and Mitch. On the last Tuesday when Mitch meets Morrie, Morrie’s last words to Mitch are “ love…you”, and Mitch replies “ I love you , too, Coach”. I wonder how many teachers may have ever told their student that they love them. It very common for students walking up to their teachers and displaying their love but not many teachers are sensitive enough to value their student’s emotions. That’s what I think is special about Mitch and Morrie.
“ A teacher affects eternity; she can never know where her influence lie”
Monday, May 5, 2008
My last six months....
Its been 6 months since i last wote my blog.I dont know what made me stop writting , may be it was by innate fear of overwhelmingly displaying my emotions. Even thought i am a quite straight foward in my dealing but since last8-9 months i had developed an intense fear of sharing my thoughts and a phobia of intimacy(which has disappeared now). May be it stemmed from the fear of rejection or press of rejection which was dwelling in my unconcious. What ever said and done these 6 months were full off ups and no downs...
so let me tell u about my 3 ups
1. Discovering my inner growing student--> god has been always graceful to me in giving me opportunities to grow and capture my dreams. One such dream which had been thriving in my heart was to teach in the same college from where i had finished my graduation. It is a very special place for me as it provided me conditions to be the person i wanted to be. It allowed me to spread my wings as far as i could with all the beautiful angels (my teachers) protecting my flight. I remember boasting to my friend during my masters years with full confidence that i am going to teach in Sophias and the question that was raised by them was what if there were no vacancies. I remember replying to one of them " if there is no vacancy i will create one". Fortunately thats turned out well and i got an offer from college even before i appeared for my masters second year. u can guess i was in heaven...
Even though i was overjoyed of being a part of my esteemed institution I was not prepared for what was to follow......to be a TEACHER...bcos i am not one. Its a word that is too heavy, respectfull and threathening. The student in me never allowed me to be a teacher.It was all a growing process with each day making me a more "mature student" than a teacher. I realized during my so called teaching sessions that it was difficult to be a teacher facing 80-90 students crumpled up, whispering all the time with their wide grins than to be a student who is still learning and trying to contribute to their knowledge. Thats what i did during my first year just contributed by having maximum discussions with theories and their applications. All this helped me in discovering my inner student and allowed me to grow.
2.Discovering my deisease--> you must be thinking why i have added this in my ups when most people would get unhappy to discover that they have some illness. But the thruth is before i discovered it, my health was quite miserable..i was suffering with extreme fatigue, weekness, memory loss,anxiety, burts of depression and extreme weight gain which made me feel even more frustrated. As it happens with all of us the "avoidance and denial syndrome"was guiding my behavior and i always attributed my symptoms to my stressful schedule and work. Until one day a student walked up to me after a lecture and as it is usually the case was complimenting on the kurta i was wearing after which she added" maam yur dark circles have increased..u look unwell..pls take care of ur self". I knew that came from genuie consern and i visited a doctor the very same day. Then came the series of test and a huge medical expense which made me aware of my deisease. So there it was, the root of all my suffering was my overblown Hypothyroidism. So if you have fatigue, weight gain, low motivation and ambition, heat and/or cold intolerance, headaches and migraines, dry skin and hair, irritability, anxiety and panic attacks, hair loss, fluid retention, depression, decreased memory and concentration, unhealthy nails, brittle nails, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, low sex drive, insomnia, hives, asthma, allergies, slow healing, acne, or carpaltunnel syndrome, you may have a thyroid disorder. Life became smoother, enjoyable and much more liveable after its diagnosis and medications.
3. Discovering love--> now this is interesting..u dont know when cupid strikes u. I got engaged on 20th of March 2008. Even though it was an arranged set up( which is quite threathening) with me meeting him only 4 times before i made the decision to spend my entire life with him. But the old saying goes true "sometimes you just have to believe what u feel". All my anti marriage views disappeared like heat in heavy rainfall and it did not take me much time to rise in love.:):):):):)
so let me tell u about my 3 ups
1. Discovering my inner growing student--> god has been always graceful to me in giving me opportunities to grow and capture my dreams. One such dream which had been thriving in my heart was to teach in the same college from where i had finished my graduation. It is a very special place for me as it provided me conditions to be the person i wanted to be. It allowed me to spread my wings as far as i could with all the beautiful angels (my teachers) protecting my flight. I remember boasting to my friend during my masters years with full confidence that i am going to teach in Sophias and the question that was raised by them was what if there were no vacancies. I remember replying to one of them " if there is no vacancy i will create one". Fortunately thats turned out well and i got an offer from college even before i appeared for my masters second year. u can guess i was in heaven...
Even though i was overjoyed of being a part of my esteemed institution I was not prepared for what was to follow......to be a TEACHER...bcos i am not one. Its a word that is too heavy, respectfull and threathening. The student in me never allowed me to be a teacher.It was all a growing process with each day making me a more "mature student" than a teacher. I realized during my so called teaching sessions that it was difficult to be a teacher facing 80-90 students crumpled up, whispering all the time with their wide grins than to be a student who is still learning and trying to contribute to their knowledge. Thats what i did during my first year just contributed by having maximum discussions with theories and their applications. All this helped me in discovering my inner student and allowed me to grow.
2.Discovering my deisease--> you must be thinking why i have added this in my ups when most people would get unhappy to discover that they have some illness. But the thruth is before i discovered it, my health was quite miserable..i was suffering with extreme fatigue, weekness, memory loss,anxiety, burts of depression and extreme weight gain which made me feel even more frustrated. As it happens with all of us the "avoidance and denial syndrome"was guiding my behavior and i always attributed my symptoms to my stressful schedule and work. Until one day a student walked up to me after a lecture and as it is usually the case was complimenting on the kurta i was wearing after which she added" maam yur dark circles have increased..u look unwell..pls take care of ur self". I knew that came from genuie consern and i visited a doctor the very same day. Then came the series of test and a huge medical expense which made me aware of my deisease. So there it was, the root of all my suffering was my overblown Hypothyroidism. So if you have fatigue, weight gain, low motivation and ambition, heat and/or cold intolerance, headaches and migraines, dry skin and hair, irritability, anxiety and panic attacks, hair loss, fluid retention, depression, decreased memory and concentration, unhealthy nails, brittle nails, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, low sex drive, insomnia, hives, asthma, allergies, slow healing, acne, or carpaltunnel syndrome, you may have a thyroid disorder. Life became smoother, enjoyable and much more liveable after its diagnosis and medications.
3. Discovering love--> now this is interesting..u dont know when cupid strikes u. I got engaged on 20th of March 2008. Even though it was an arranged set up( which is quite threathening) with me meeting him only 4 times before i made the decision to spend my entire life with him. But the old saying goes true "sometimes you just have to believe what u feel". All my anti marriage views disappeared like heat in heavy rainfall and it did not take me much time to rise in love.:):):):):)
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